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CCL - Alb - Hyrje - Introduction

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Alb

Kapitulli 1: Dyshimi

Fotografia nė kapakun e librit tregon gruan time, Margaret, nė Black Hill tė Uellsit tė Jugut. Rrugica duket e zymtė, e lagėsht dhe e parehatshme, dhe ajo duket sikur ka mbėrritur nė fund tė saj dhe po mendohet se nga tė kthehet, apo nėse ekziston ndonjė vend tjetėr ku mund tė shkojė. A je ndier dhe ti kėshtu ndonjėherė nė jetė? A je ndier sikur Perėndia ėshtė tepėr larg dhe ti ndihesh paksa i humbur, jeta pėrpara dhe rreth teje tė duket e zymtė, dhe nuk e di se ku tė shkosh pėr tė gjetur Perėndinė?

Unė u bėra i krishterė mė tepėr se dyzet vjet mė parė, por nganjėherė ulem dhe pyes veten nėse ka Perėndi vėrtet; dhe, nėse po, a ėshtė ai vėrtet Perėndia i Biblės dhe, nėse po, a e njoh vėrtet nė kuptimin qė tė jem i shpėtuar.

Faktikisht, nuk mė duket dhe aq e vėshtirė tė besoj se ka njė Perėndi, kur shqyrtoj modelin e brishtė dhe tė kujdesshėm tė botės dhe universit – si gjėrat e pamasa (si yjet), ashtu dhe ato tė vockla, si lulet dhe jeta e insekteve. Mė shpesh, dyshimet e mia kanė tė bėjnė me faktin nėse ky Krijues ėshtė vėrtet Perėndia qė pėrshkruhet nė Bibėl, dhe nėse jam i krishterė i vėrtetė, fėmija i tij me anė tė rilindjes, qė i jepet me anė tė Frymės sė tij atyre qė besojnė.

Disa vite mė parė, lexova kėto fjalė nga njė grua qė kėrkoi tė mos ia pėrmendnim emrin, pasi disa prej atyre qė mund ta lexojnė kėtė libėr, e njohin. Tek kthente sytė drejt njė periudhe qė filloi mė 1991, ajo shkroi pėr humbjen e besimit tė vet: Dhjetė vjet mė parė, mė 7 janar [1987], nė orėn 8.50 tė mėngjesit, pashė kur mė vdiq babai. Dhimbja dhe humbja e tij ēasti ishin tė padurueshme, por pasojat e asaj humbjeje nuk u shfaqėn tė gjitha gjatė asaj kohe, por dolėn nė pah vetėm me kalimin e kohės. Humbja ndodhi; ai iku njė herė e pėrgjithmonė. Por vetėm me kalimin e kohės kam filluar tė kuptoj vėrtet makthin e kėsaj humbjeje.

Pėr mua, humbja e besimit ka qenė njė pėrvojė e ngjashme. Zemėrimi, dhimbja dhe ndjesia e humbjes kanė qenė tė gjitha tė pranishme, por, pothuajse pėrditė, dalin vėrtet nė pah aspekte tė reja tė kėsaj humbjeje – e, megjithatė, ata qė janė ende nė kėtė besim (tė cilėt, duhet tė prisnim qė t’ia kishin paksa idenė kėtij lloj pėrjetimi) duket sikur e kanė trajtuar kėtė gjė si diēka tė lehtė, si diēka tė sikletshme, pa e kuptuar aspak se ēfarė ka ndodhur vėrtet. Si munden ata, qė e vlerėsojnė kaq shumė kėtė besim, tė mos ia kenė fare idenė se si do tė ishte jeta e tyre pa tė? Kjo ėshtė diēka tjetėr qė mė bėn tė vė nė dyshim vlefshmėrinė e asaj qė pretendohet.

Pėr mua, besimi ishte oferta e dashurisė sė pakushtėzuar nga ana e Perėndisė, dhe duhet qė njerėzit e tij tė shfaqnin tė paktėn hijen e saj. Dhe fakti se pėrse ndeshem kaq shpesh me reagime tė kundėrta mė bėnė tė vė nė dyshim edhe mė tepėr vlefshmėrinė e asaj qė kisha besuar pėr mė tepėr se njėzet vjet. Ata qė prisja tė bėnin tė pamundurėn tė mė ngushėllonin dhe ndihmonin ishin, shumė shpesh, pikėrisht ata qė mė hodhėn poshtė tė parėt.

Ashtu si im atė ishte i vėrtetė dhe jetoi e mė preku jetėn, kėshtu dhe unė s’mund ta mohoj kurrė se edhe Perėndia ishte pjesė e jetės sime dhe mė ndihmoi tė bėhem ajo qė jam. Nuk i kam hedhur ende poshtė parimet bazė tė besimit tė krishterė dhe, nė njė farė mėnyre, pikėrisht kėtu ndryshon pėrvoja ime nga dhimbja pėr humbjen e tim ati. Vjen njė ēast kur e pranon se ai qė ke dashur nuk do tė jetė mė aty, por humbja e besimit tim s’ka gjetur ende pėrmbyllje. Ndihem, nganjėherė, si nė njė botė tė ndėrmjetme, ku nuk gjej aspak qetim.

Kėtu pėrfundon kjo prozė e vazhdueshme. Shkruesja pastaj vazhdon, nė formė shėnimesh, tė tregojė si vazhdon rrėfimi – qė, mjerisht, ajo s’e bėri kurrė. Shėnimet e saj pėrmbajnė edhe humbjen e sigurisė dhe miqve, dhe problemin se si, dhe pse, filloi tė vinte nė dyshim besimin e vet. Ajo mendoi qė tė shkruante pėr dy dėshira tė kundėrta brenda saj, nga njėra anė pėr tė vlerėsuar me ndershmėri bazėn e besimit tė vet dhe dyshimet qė e trazonin (pavarėsisht nga ēmimi pėrfundimtar pėr sa i pėrket humbjes sė besimit dhe sigurisė) dhe, nga ana tjetėr, pėr prirjen e saj qė tė pėrjashtonte rrezikun e dhimbjes qė vjen nga humbja e besimit duke vendosur qė tė mos bėnte pyetje tė tilla.

Shembulli i saj nuk ėshtė aspak i vetmuar. Shumė tė krishterė kanė dyshime. Sigurisht, edhe njerėzit nė Bibėl kishin dyshime – tre prej tyre ishin Jobi, Gjon Pagėzori, apostulli Thoma – dhe nė kėtė libėr tė vogėl do tė lexosh rreth tyre. Nė fakt, ndoshta edhe ti mund tė kesh dyshimet e tua, pėrndryshe pse do ta lexoje kėtė libėr (pėrveēse nėse po e lexon vetėm qė tė mėsosh si tė ndihmosh tė tjerėt qė po luftojnė me dyshime tė tilla)?

Dyshimi mund tė tė bėjė tė mendosh thellė pėr besimin, pėr atė qė beson dhe pse, dhe kjo mund tė tė ndihmojė tė zbulosh thellėsi mė tė mėdha dhe forcė mė tė madhe nė besimin e krishterė sesa kishe menduar mė parė se mund tė ekzistonin. Kjo tė bėn shumė tė vetėdijshėm se ke nevojė qė tė zbulosh mė tepėr gjėra rreth Perėndisė dhe, kur ta gjesh mė thellė, kjo mund tė tė shtyjė qė tė pėrkushtohesh edhe mė plotėsisht pėr tė besuar nė tė, si dhe pėr t’iu bindur dhe shėrbyer. Dyshimi mund ta bėjė kėtė – nėse je nė gjendje qė tė gjesh fitoren mbi tė. Dyshimi ėshtė njė kundėrshtar i fortė, por kalimi pėrmes tij mund tė jetė njė mėnyrė pėr tė provuar tė vėrtetėn e gjėzės sė Biblės, “Nga i forti, doli e ėmbla.” Ky libėr u shkruar pėr tė tė ndihmuar qė ta gjesh kėtė fitore.

Kapitulli 2: Besimi te Kryqi......

Return to Hyrje - Introduction


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Fun Stuff & Recent Changes

The Center for Christian Leadership exists to serve the evangelical church of Albania. Have you used our library? Have you attended a conference recently? Have you read a book we've published? Do you know a leader who could benefit from some training? Have you made use of the information on our web-page? (Oh, that's what you're doing now!) In all these ways and many others we are here to serve you!

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